Rokiah
Love of a lifetime
Rokiah's husband is a writer and it has taken them to many places including the old palace in Thailand where the princess gave out awards to South East Asian writers. There she met writers from other countries. Her husband represented Singapore. When her husband was a policeman, he already started writing. They met in the police force when he would come to the office for correspondence. She was very curious why this Chinese guy could speak Malay so well. She asked him about it one day and that's how they started "until now", coming to five grandchildren. It was love and she told her husband he is the "first and last". It is with pride that she says that writing is his passion. She mentions that he has his own room and doesn't like to be disturbed. She would be sensitive to not be too loud on the phone. When the grandchildren are around, that's when he wouldn't be able to write. Once he is quiet, she would know that a moment of inspiration has arrived and she would make adjustments to not distract him. Her husband grew up in a Malay community. When they were married, there was understandably family objection. But it was love and a divine destiny that her husband came to Singapore and they met. It was her husband who faced the objection but after she gave birth to her son, her in-laws started coming to their house and built up a relationship. They respected each other's culture. Every Chinese New Year, her husband would go back to visit his parents. They are still in touch with his sister. Whatever misgivings about their inter-racial marriage is water under the bridge. She believes it is a divine plan. She asked her husband, he had so many friends when he rose in the ranks, why did he choose to marry her? He agreed, it is all part of a divine plan.
Ah Gong and Nenek
She has five grandchildren, three from her son and two from her daughter. They all have Chinese names. When they go out as a family, her grandchildren will call her husband Ah Gong. When people asked, she will reply that it is because her husband is Chinese. Her grandchildren calls her Nenek. Her husband will converse with the grandchildren in Chinese and mostly in Malay. Because he grew up in Malaysia and in Malay culture, that is why he can write in Malay very well. Her granddaughter's teacher has ever asked her granddaughter why her grandfather is so good in the Malay language and she is not. Rokiah acknowledges the difficulty of teaching or learning from a family member than from an external party. Remembering how it is for her after school, when she would chuck her schoolbag aside and play, she pities her grandchildren for the pressure they are under. To relief their stress, she will bring the grandchildren to her house and her husband will entertain them, "Everything also Ah Gong," she exclaims about her grandchildren. She will cook for them, her husband will bring them around. To Rokiah, family bonding is very important.
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
True blue northerner
She was introduced to PAC by a friend. She found a lot of friends here and enjoyed the outings and classes like Zumba. She started working when she left school and only stopped when her eldest son was born. Now, she wants to join as many activities so she can stay happy and healthy. She missed working life and would keep in contact with her ex-colleagues and attend their parties and functions. They are all retired now. There was a time when the government encouraged mothers to use childcare but she found the options very limited. She had to make the sacrifice to stop working. It would be hard to return to work at her age so she wants to join more activities as it can release tension and help her relax. As her children is grown and the house is emptier, they did ask if she wanted to sell the house and move in with them. She says no. She says as a woman she doesn't want to cling onto her children. With her own 4-rm flat, she has her own freedom and there is space for her grandchildren to visit her in the weekends. Understanding and forgiveness are very important in a relationship. There will always be some misunderstandings but it's better to not take it too seriously. At most, the ill feelings will last for a few hours and she will say sorry. As a woman, she will be the one to give way. She has lived in the Yishun neighbourhood for 37 years. They bought the home under the police scheme when her son was very young. She would choose Yishun over any other place. Previously this place was an open land and when it rained, it would always flood. After 25 years, she started noticing the change with all the new flats coming up. Now it is very convenient as previously she would have to walk quite a distance to the market in Chong Pang. She doesn't like the East. She loves that in the North, there is more rain and the weather is more cool.
For I can't help...
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be